Nothing in Life is Free!
“Nothing in Life is Free”, or NILIF, is a remarkable training philosophy because it is so effective for a wide variety of canine personalities. A shy, timid dog becomes more confident when learns that he has nothing to worry about because his human is in charge at all times. A dog that’s too pushy will learn that the “Alpha” position is not available to him and that life is much more enjoyable when the “Alpha” (YOU!) are consistently in control. (I always hesitate to use the word "alpha" because sometimes people associate this with old training methods, such as using "alpha rolls".) NILIF is a way of living happily with your best friend because it teaches him to trust and accept you as the leader and he is confident knowing his place in the family “pack”.
Dogs descended from wolves and are social animals. In the wild they would establish a social structure within the pack called a dominance hierarchy to maintain order, reduce conflict and promote cooperation for survival. In order for your home to be a safe and happy place for dogs and people, it is important for the humans to assume the highest position. If you have children, be aware that most dogs will naturally assume that children are playmates, not superiors, and this can be a potentially dangerous situation. Establishing a place for them in your “pack” is your responsibility, not one you should expect a young child to assert – and certainly not a decision for your dog to make!
Requiring the dog to "work" for valuable resources is a safe and non-confrontational way to establish control. You can begin to practice NILIF once your dog is consistently obeying basic obedience commands such as “sit”, “down”, and “place”. The premise is that you control all things wonderful in his life (food, treats, petting, attention, walks) and your dog must earn those resources. Don’t be too hard on him at first, especially if he has a long history of manipulating you to do what he wants. Enforce the new rules but keep in mind that he’s only doing what has worked in the past and he’s going to need some time to figure out this new system. DOGS DO WHAT WORKS FOR THEM!!
How to practice Nothing in Life is Free!
Begin by eliminating attention on demand. Rover comes and nudges you in essence saying “pet me, pet me!” Don’t tell him no, don’t push him away, simply ignore him. Rover interprets his ability to demand attention as confirmation that he is in charge. In a pack situation, higher ranking dogs can demand attention from lower ranking ones, never the other way around. When you
give him attention on demand, you are communicating that he has more status than you do. Consistency is crucial because tension can be created by a constant fluctuation of pack leadership.
Extinction Bursts or "It gets worse before it gets better!"
Suppose we had a game where I agreed to give you a dollar every time you snapped your fingers. You would snap your fingers at me whenever you wanted some cash. But then suppose without telling you the change in rules, I decided I'm not about to keep giving this money -- game over! As far as you know we are still playing -- maybe I just didn't notice or hear the snapping? Your first response would probably be to try to snap faster and louder. You might even get in my face and say, “I’m snapping like crazy over here, where is my dollar??”
Let's say I just totally ignore you and didn't respond at all. You would eventually would stop snapping your fingers -- I mean, what's the point?? However, if you started yelling at me and I got intimidated and broke down and started handing out the money again, you’d be right back in the game with renewed vigor! That loud, fast, demanding snapping is called an ‘extinction burst’ and if you give in to that, it’s going to be harder to try to change the behavior next time. Telling Rover “no” or pushing him away is not necessarily the kind of attention that he is after, but it’s still attention. Think of the kid in school who acts up just to get someone to notice! Completely ignoring that stubborn pup will work better and faster. We've just got to be as determined as they are -- for both our sakes!
This does not mean that you have to restrict the amount of attention that
you give your dog. NILIF speaks to who initiates the attention -- and
remember, it’s always the Alpha! Call your dog over and love on him! Just remember in the pack, the Alpha eats first, sleeps wherever he wishes and initiates contact when he wishes. YOU owe it to your dog to be a strong, kind, benevolent leader!
You have the power!
The basic premise of “Nothing in Life is Free” is simply to have your dog earn the use of your resources. He’s hungry? No problem, he just has to “down” and wait until he is released before his food is put down. He wants to go for a walk? Great, but he has to sit quietly before you put the leash on and while the front door is opened. Alphas (YOU!) go out first! NILIF does not have to be a long, drawn out process. You simply enforce a simple command before giving him what he wants. Dinner, for example, should be a two or three second encounter that consists of nothing more than saying “down”, then “Good dog! You're free!”, putting the bowl down and walking away.
Now that your dog is no longer calling the shots, you will want to make an extra effort to provide him with attention and time. Call him to you, have him “sit” and then lavish him with as much attention as you want. The difference is that now you will be the one initiating the attention and beginning the play time, so he will be more attentive to what you want in order to get what he wants!